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I’m the type of person that occasionally sits in a mud puddle yowling about having soggy drawers. Today was one of those days. The exam in my toughest subject was today, and it was hard. Of course, you say, exams are supposed to be hard. There’s hard, and then there’s hyperventilate/panic/5 hours isn’t enough/I’m not sure 50 hours would be enough/pass the Xanax please. Not only was the test nightmarish, 2 companies I’d applied to for summer internships sent rejection emails. All of the sudden, I got some momentum. I went ahead and felt sorry for myself for the ridiculous amounts of debt I’m incurring to be here. And yes, I’m a skosh envious of my friends who’ve found love (true or temporary) at Darden, not to mention how guilty I’ve been feeling about being a terrible friend to my pre-Darden people…the more I thought about it, the more things I could add to my let’s-feel-bad Mud Puddle List.
Since I don’t do things halfway, my petulant internal tantrum continued at the gym. I asked myself when it would be MY TURN to get a job, to excel academically, to go on a date or two, to feel like I was succeeding at just SOME part of life lately. In one of those moments of clarity (that almost caused me to fall off the stair mill), I realized that my turn is now. My turn has always been now. I just forgot to have faith.
So today was a Double Hard Day, indeed. News flash: Darden is hard. And has the potential to help you feel really bad if you are already so inclined to be very hard on yourself, strive for perfection, and compare yourself to others. I’m pretty sure it has the potential to make you feel very good, too – if you are already inclined to keep a good sense of humor, a balanced perspective, a strong helping of gratitude and some faith. It may be that I didn’t rock the exam or the class….ok, fine. Can’t change that now – what I can change now is the way I feel about it. And, if you already have soggy drawers from a Mud Puddle Moment, like me…. why not take a few more minutes to have fun playing in the mud while you’re there?
Mud Puddle Fun
What a wonderful post! It’s easy to forget, but we should keep reminding ourselves how lucky and privileged we are to be here. Keep on smiling, you do that well. I guaranty the world will smile back at you.
Lovely post Sierra and here’s a hug for you ! I swear to you, for every time I’ve had my “mud puddle moment” (funny, I’ve never heard anyone call it that), I’ve found someone in Darden to give me a hug and make me feel better
I’ve been told it’s all a question of timing, but I think we’re all rockstars in our own universes, and so what if it doesn’t involve getting an A on the paper or getting an internship/job early in the game… You will be fine and your day in the sun will come too. You came this far and it wasn’t for nothing.
I love your posts!! Reflection is half of what Darden is about, too many people don’t think they have time for it. You’re one step ahead! Keep you’re chin up, you’re going to do great! I didn’t get an internship until way after Spring Break… there’s still time. Rejection letters hurt, but everything happens for a reason. Wish I could have been there to help you study. Go have some Arch’s for me!!
YOU will be exactly the type alumnae that Darden wants–involved, caring, but tough. I’m glad you are here, and I am confident that all your interviewing and networking and phone calling and email writing and trip taking and socializing will build you a network of support that will carry you through. AND the right opportunity is out there for you–I cant wait to see what it it.
E
I was Mud Puddle-ing yesterday and today, too. Hopefully our turns in the sunshine will come soon. Until then, let me know if you want a friend to go stomp in the puddles.
I’m so sorry you had a Mud Puddle day. I’ve certainly had my share of those, and I think you handle it with far more grace and perspective than I ever did.Hang in there. You’re right — your time is now!
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